Zur Einführung des Narzißmus

A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal, “I would like to give you this personality test”, said the outsider, “because I want you to be happy.”

Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster, saying: “I wish the toaster to be happy, too.”

– Gary Drescher legendarily in MIT folklore

On the recommendation of friends, I have recently listed myself on an on-line site to ostensibly meet people. This is a bit of a novelty for me as I've not ever actually dated. I've had friends that have turned into lovers and actually find it hard to imagine myself seeking out a person with the intention of mating. So I'm imagining myself as trying to make friends (who are coincidentally female and not romantically attached) because it seems more plausible.


I've looked at a variety of sites from one-night-stands.r.us to seeking-stupid-old-men.with.money to desperation.and.needi.er (Eritrea's Hottest Spot for Singles) with limited success.

Each site has their gimmick, and one that I looked at claims to do a personality assessment, yielded in the form of an astrological "reading" but with worse grammar and punctuation. If you've never heard of the Forer Effect, then I have prepared this profile just for you:

You have a great need for other people to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. Security is one of your major goals in life.

Pretty accurate, neh? Well, of course it is as it defines the human condition in a way both vague and pointed.

So this site asked me some questions and then yielded a profile of me. I was vaguely impressed for about the first two sentences and then remembered Forer. So I put the question to you, dear reader, which of these three profiles best describes the me that you know?

Profile X

You are a wonderful friend and colleague. You are generally calm and entertaining, and always dedicated and reliable. Just about everybody likes you.
You have a traditional streak. Home, family, job and community are all central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social group and you feels deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You can be fiercely protective of those she loves.
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. And you are skilled at achieving solutions to sticky problems so that all involved feel fulfilled.
You tend to be cautious but not fearful. You have a genuine sense of community. So you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more stable world.

Profile P

You have a great deal of vitality. You are curious, imaginative and resilient. And you find pleasure in doing and thinking about all sorts of things and ideas, often at the same time.
You tend to be optimistic, seeing the world as a place of adventure. You seek first-hand experiences. And when you embark on a project or expedition, you like to be organized, thorough and responsible.
You are firmly grounded in reality and live in the here and now. You stands up for your beliefs. And you has a sympathetic and spiritual side that adds warmth and depth to your being.
In spite of your search for novelty, you have a genuine respect for home, family, work and community. You are conscientious and dependable. Yet you occasionally surprise those whom you love with generous presents.
You generally enjoy life. You have a keen sense of humor. And because you are broad-minded, flexible and playful, you can be a wonderful friend.

Profile Q

You love adventure, both intellectual and physical. And you greet new challenges with passion and bravery.
When you get interested in a project, you can become extremely focused on it. You will complete it carefully and thoroughly, often with great originality.
Because you have a lot of energy and tend to be enthusiastic about your ideas, inventions, and projects, you can be very persuasive.
You tend to like to collect things, experiences or ideas. And you are eager to make an impact on those around you, as well as the wider world.
Although you enjoy people and can be charming and humorous, you are not very interested in routine social engagements. You are comfortable being by yourself, pursuing your own interests.
People probably call you a non-conformist. You like to have good conversations on important topics. People tend to admire you for your innovativeness.

Quite by accident, this has become a double blind experiment because in the time between cribbing the profiles and publishing them, I've quite forgotten which was which and haven't looked hard enough. So in a thoroughly unscientific test, if you have read this far, let me know which is the real me, either drop a comment here or contact me privately. This could be interesting, fun, or stupid, I leave it to you to judge.